Three days passed and we had covered half the distance to the City Proper.
It was evening. Myth had just finished cooking dinner for the two of us; she absolutely refused to cook for Bard and Bumble. Having met them, I could understand why.
Myth handed a plate of food to me and then sat down by the fire. I settled down beside her and began eating, famished after a long day’s march.
Bard sat across the fire from us. His dinner consisted of some raw turnips; I never saw him eat a proper meal the whole time he traveled with us.
Barnaby sat near Bard, eating a turnip of his own.
Bumble was not around—thank goodness.
“I saw something interesting earlier, when I was gathering wood for the fire,” said Myth. “Can you guess what I saw, Izzy?”
My mouth was full, so I just shook my head, “No.”
Myth pointed her fork at Bard. “I saw this fellow talking with those bandits we met a while back. You remember those bandits, don’t you, Izzy?”
I had just taken another bite of food, so I answered by nodding, “Yes.”
Bard laughed, spitting bits of turnip into the fire. “Surely you are mistaken, fair dam—”
A glare from Myth made him rethink his choice of words.
“—um, I mean, Myth,” Bard went on. “Why would I socialize with those loathsome curs?”
“That’s what I wondered,” said Myth. “Why would anyone with even a scrap of common sense talk with those bandits? Let’s be honest, they’re the human equivalent of a boil upon a fat man’s bum.”
I nodded my head in agreement with her as I chewed another bite of food.
“What further puzzled me,” Myth continued, “was that Bard in particular was talking with them. Granted, Bard possesses no common sense.”
I nodded in agreement again.
“But,” Myth went on, “you may remember, Iz, that those bandits were beating Bard black and blue when we met them. So why would he, of all people, seek out the company of those poxes upon humanity?”
Myth took a bite of food. After she swallowed it, Myth said, “I came up with just one possible answer. Can you guess what that answer is, Izzy?”
I was still busy devouring my dinner, so I just shook my head, “No.”
Myth pointed her fork at Bard again. “This bard is colluding with those bandits. At some point, probably right when we find the treasure, those bandits will show up and Bard will betray us.”
I glowered at Bard as I slowly and emphatically chewed a bite of food.
Bard laughed again. “My dear dam… Myth, why would I betray two such charming dump… women?”
“Because you’re an idiot,” said Myth bluntly.
I nodded my head in agreement once again.
“Upon my word as a gentle bard,” said Bard as he rose and placed his hand over his heart. “I avow that betraying you has never crossed my mind. Indeed, I shudder in disgust at the mere thought of doing so.”
“Uh-huh,” said Myth. Shaking her head, she focused on eating her dinner.
We ate in silence for a few minutes. Then…
“Fools,” muttered Bard. “The fair damsels trust me. Oh, I am a clever bard. Soon the treasure will be mine and mine alone.”
Myth and I looked at one another. She raised an eyebrow as if to ask, “Is this man really that big of an imbecile?” In response, I just rolled my eyes and kept eating.
“We can hear you,” Myth told Bard.
“Only joking,” replied Bard.